Oh LORD, I’ve done it again— I’ve made a mistake; I’ve gone another way.
Turn your attention toward me; Listen to my plea, hear me in my time of trouble.
My nights are sleepless; I lie awake, lonely as a church mouse.
On my bed, I toss this way and that, recalling my actions, murmuring to myself:
If only… If only I’d acted quicker. I am reduced to self-pity.
\ To whom else can I turn, with my downcast soul; my repeated thoughts: If only. Why me?
Why did this have to happen now? God, you are the maker of all I see.
Can’t you step in and resolve my troubles? Can’t you bring the dawn of yesterday back,
And turn my regrets into praise? I vow my obedience, yet I know deep down: it’s my own fault.
My mistakes are ripples on a pond— one splash of anger, one slip of the tongue,
and the ripples spread to everyone. I am haunted by the memory of my mistakes.
\ If there’s a wish, we all long to come true, surely it is this: “May my mistakes undo!”
Surely today would be different. What was planned would be unfolding now.
But because of one misjudgment, a wrong thought—
Anguish, heartache, and tears are my companions.
Memory is heavy, weighed down with dark recoils of what happened.
\ But you, oh LORD, are stronger than my mistakes.
Listen to the prayer of your repentant child. You are willing to forgive,
making a way of escape from my pain. Help me do the same with myself.
Show me how to release the burden clinging to my emotions.
Help me accept your wisdom: reshape my sorrow into a song; turn my errors into understanding,
and my mourning into joy.
\ Praise the LORD, you his angels, you mighty ones who carry out the bidding of Yahweh everlasting.
Listen to his commands and restore my wounded soul.
Inspiration: having made a recent mistake, this caused me much questioning plus the recalling of past \ mistakes; errors. Reading Psalm 102 helped me shape this into a psalm like poem.
© stephen c douglas, 5 January 2025, as kiwi poet