Oh LORD, I’ve done it again— I’ve made a mistake; I’ve gone another way.
Turn your attention toward me; Listen to my plea, hear me in my time of trouble.
My nights are sleepless; I lie awake, lonely as a church mouse.
On my bed, I toss this way and that, recalling my actions, murmuring to myself:
If only… If only I’d acted quicker. I am reduced to self-pity.
To whom else can I turn, with my downcast soul; my repeated thoughts: If only. Why me?
Why did this have to happen now? God, you are the maker of all I see.
Can’t you step in and resolve my troubles? Can’t you bring the dawn of yesterday back,
And turn my regrets into praise? I vow my obedience, yet I know deep down: it’s my own fault.
My mistakes are ripples on a pond— one splash of anger, one slip of the tongue,
and the ripples spread to everyone. I am haunted by the memory of my mistakes.
If there’s a wish, we all long to come true, surely it is this: “May my mistakes undo!”
Surely today would be different. What was planned would be unfolding now.
But because of one misjudgment, a wrong thought—
Anguish, heartache, and tears are my companions.
Memory is heavy, weighed down with dark recoils of what happened.
But you, oh LORD, are stronger than my mistakes.
Listen to the prayer of your repentant child. You are willing to forgive,
making a way of escape from my pain. Help me do the same with myself.
Show me how to release the burden clinging to my emotions.
Help me accept your wisdom: reshape my sorrow into a song; turn my errors into understanding,
and my mourning into joy.
Praise the LORD, you his angels, you mighty ones who carry out the bidding of Yahweh everlasting.
Listen to his commands and restore my wounded soul.
Inspiration: having made a recent mistake, this caused me much questioning plus the recalling of past
* mistakes; errors. Reading Psalm 102 helped me shape this into a psalm like poem.*
© stephen c douglas, 5 January 2025, as kiwi poet